I. Am. Dumb.

 

So, I discovered last night that when you eat spicy foods before you go to bed, it doesn’t tend to end well. It’s not that I ate kung pao chicken or anything at ten o’clock at night, but I did drink some spicy V8 juice that the boy brought home. He wasn’t feeling well and he thought he should drink more juice. I’ve never heard that V8 juice (especially the spicy variation) makes ones stomach feel better, but oh well. I should also mention that he bought apple juice as well, but really no one cares. 

So anyways, right after I drank the spicy juice, homeboy decides to mention to me that drinking spicy things before bed is never a good idea because it leads to bad dreams and crap like that. THEN, he googles that shit for me and there were all of these stories about how spicy things before bed leads to nightmares and scary dreams and what not. (AND, I also tweeted about having a bad dream involving a fish and someone told me that fish in dreams is a sign of fertility and pregnancy. Why would anyone tell me that? Don’t fucking put those ideas into my head!) Anyways…

So what happens? First of all, it took me about forty minutes to fall asleep because I’m a paranoid crazy person who lives in Los Angeles. Second of all, I had the weirdest fucking dream that I’ve had in a long time.

I actually had a series of dreams that were weird and freaky and I kept waking up in the middle of my sleep.

I dreamed that I went to Pinkberry, which is within walking distance from out apartment. I’ve been craving Pinkberry for the past few days and naturally, sweets and candy are part of my dreams.

Anyways, in this dream where I was walking to Pinkberry, I dreamed that I got SHOT. It was only with a BB gun and it was only a dream, but I would imagine that that would still hurt quite a bit. I woke up after that dream and couldn’t sleep comfortably at all for the rest of the night. I kept waking the boy up (like I usually do.) I steal covers and pillows and hog the bed, but I rarely realize that I’m doing it.

So, last night I had to have Pinkberry. HAD to. I needed it! If I dream about getting something, I usually won’t rest until I have it. So the boy took me to go and get some frozen yogurt. He walked with me to make sure I wouldn’t get shot because I’m a paranoid psycho and I think that dreams can sometimes be a premonition. We got to Pinkberry and the server laughed at how excited I was about getting some yogurt. 

“I’m super excited! I had a dream about Pinkberry!” I reassured the server. 

“No, really. I went online to look at all of the flavor combinations I could have so I could decide what I wanted.”

He laughed at me.

“You laugh at me like I’m joking with you, but I’m being entirely serious.” I said to him. “And I take my Pinkberry selections very seriously!”

Obviously I love making a fool of myself whenever I get the chance.

I can’t believe the boy puts up with my ridiculous antics sometimes. He just looks at me and shakes his head or laughs most of the time.

He also made fun of me last night for scarfing down pizza and THEN wanting frozen yogurt. Did I mention I’m lactose intolerant? My tummy hurts today.

The lesson in this? Avoid spicy foods before bed, and the combination of yogurt and pizza when you are lactose intolerant. I’m fucking brilliant.

P.S.-Thanks for all of your concern about my sunburn! You readers are too kind=) It’s better now that I’m peeling. No worries, my dumb ass is staying out of the sun from now on. I’ll resign to being the palest person to ever roam the beach. 

P.P.S.-Sorry this post is dullsville. I have writers block!!! Grrr…..! The boy told me I need a new hobby and then he suggested I drink more. I couldn’t agree more with him. I’ll be consuming more wine soon and writing more drunken blog posts. Those are always amusing. Look forward to it, people. I know I am.