So, my lovely class this evening was canceled. I had put on a cute outfit as opposed to my regular sweats and a t-shirt, a cute scarf, and had my hair done up all cute for a presentation that was supposed to be given in class. I had my scalding hot pumpkin spice latte in my hand and I was bound and determined to stay awake and focused during class….the class that was canceled.
This of course is a good thing though because A, a class that lasts for three hours creates way too much daydreaming and doodling time for me and B, this class cuts into my new favorite show, Glee. If I don’t get to see Glee on Wednesday nights when it airs, I become an incredibly bitter and angry person. It gets me through my week, people!
On my drive home to curl up on the couch in front of the cozy fireplace that I can’t turn on because A, I don’t know how to work it and B, I’m too poor to pay for that extra utility bill, I noticed something interesting. Actually, I noticed something rather annoying. Outside of my building earlier today around noon I heard constant honking. Now, if you live in Ames, Iowa, you would know that traffic jams and hurried people aren’t really a source of problems around these parts. The honking would sometimes last for a few minutes and then die down for a bit only to start up again. Once I had driven back to my apartment, I found the source of the honking. There were about seven people standing outside holding signs that said “Honk for Peace.”
What. The. Fuck. How is honking for peace going to solve any sort of problem in the world? What you’re doing when you honk outside of my peaceful apartment is called “making noise.” Noise, if you didn’t know, isn’t very fucking peaceful, jack wads. In fact, when you “honk for peace,” all that makes me want to do is scream for humanity and then go outside and straight up murder your stupid ass.
Now, I love peace as much as the next person, but I also love quiet and I’m a fan of time management. What do you do in your life that you can afford to take the day off of work to go stand out on the street and ask people to honk for peace? Guess what? Creating noise does not create peace and it’s a little bit of a contradiction. It doesn’t make sense. Just like low fat krispy kreme donuts don’t make sense. And also, that guy at the gas station that I saw today who had the bumper stickers for “going green” and “peace and love” on the back of his HUMMER doesn’t make sense. If you’re going to drive a military utility vehicle around that guzzles gas, can you spare me the peace and love bullshit? Because unless you’re singing kumbaya in there and smoking a peace pipe, I just can’t understand you, even if you do use corn based E-85 fuel.
So please people, if you must honk, honk because some douche-tard driver forgot a turn signal or is stopped at a green light. Don’t honk for peace because A, you’re not helping the cause at all, and B, you’re kind of fucking annoying.
Good to know I live in a city where people honk at normal things like other cars and pedestrians. You hold up a “honk for peace” sign in this city and a cabbie will run over you because he can’t read english anyway and he’ll assume it says something offensive. God, I love NY. lol.
i couldnt agree with you more…. this must have been something special going on that apparently due to my lack of paying attention to any kind of media outlet or just a huge coincidence. on my way to work at one of the main intersection there were people doing the exact same thing. im sitting at the light waiting for the turn light. some D-Bag in his truck next to me jsut kept on wailing his horn to the point i wish i had a gun.
this made me laugh so much!
i love your writing
please publish
Hmm, that does sound a bit like an oxymoron; honking for peace (of quiet)? Lovely. I work downtown across from the Capitol and every Friday there are war protesters that come down with signs and megaphones asking for passersby to honk if they are against the war. When they first started doing it, I was all, “Do they honestly think that will help this gigantic mess? How annoying!” But then I realized that by no embracing it, I was pretty much just a part of the problem. Plus, I like the dude that brings his little blonde dog down every week (EVERY week for YEARS now!).
However, this was being done by my work — not my home! If I had to listen to that shit while trying to make lunch or sleep, they would be getting a whole fist full of middle fingers, NOT a supportive honk. Maybe you can convince them to move to somewhere more…public? Good luck with that!
you should’ve called the po po and got em tazered for being annoying.
I honk when my head gets caught on the steering wheel after giving truckers road head for rides.
I love your stories! I keep thinking I should write a story about all my moving experiences.
There is quite a list!
Anyway – loved your post! Lots of oxymoron’s. Sad that your fireplace isn’t free and doesn’t work
Have a great weekend Maddie!
Hey Maddie, long time reader first time commenter. I know, you’ll call me a stalker, but that’s ok.
Today I was catching up on your last two posts. #32 bugs me too. It can also be applied to your and you’re. Then I read this: “What your doing when you honk outside of my peaceful apartment is called “making noise.””
Oh Maddie, thanks for being you. Your the bestest.
hey david! thanks for commenting=) i’m glad you finally de-lurked and i can know who you are! don’t worry, i stalk other people’s blogs too. i think everyone does! pleased to “meet” you though=)