I’m twenty-two years old and about to graduate. I have no idea what I want to do with my life or if I even want to work in the field that I studied in. oddly enough, I’m ok with this….for now. I’m predicting a meltdown soon though.
My college professor came to class today with jeans [...]
Archive for the ‘I think I'm funny’ Category
I couldn’t form sentences today, so I made a list instead…
Posted in Dear Human Race, Sometimes you disappoint me., Disinclined to be Classy, I have issues..., I should utilize my time better, I think I'm funny, No one really needs to know these things, Randomness, This sh*t is bananas on October 19, 2009 | 19 Comments »
Oh, hello strangers!
Posted in I have issues..., I think I'm funny, It's all in the family, My life might be easier if I didn't let people know that I think these things, No one really needs to know these things, Randomness on May 10, 2009 | 11 Comments »
Hey there readers. Sorry I’ve been gone for a while from le blog de Maddie. I’ve been busy being taken up the butt by my final exams and the stresses of moving. You know what else is stressful? Moving back home. With your parents. Luckily, I’m only going to be home in Colorado for four [...]
Dear Sydney, Fuck you. xoxo-Maddie
Posted in Disinclined to be Classy, I have issues..., I should utilize my time better, I think I'm funny, No one really needs to know these things, Sometimes, I have a serious side., This sh*t is bananas on April 17, 2009 | 19 Comments »
Typically, I’m not a very emotional person. I rarely ever cry. Seriously, you would have to beat me over the head and threaten to kill my loved ones in order to get a tear rolling down my cheek. This has not been the case lately. Hallmark commercials? Make me cry. A friend saying something nice? [...]
While we are on the topic of bunnies, I should mention my Boyfriend
Posted in I have issues..., I think I'm funny, My life might be easier if I didn't let people know that I think these things, Randomness on April 16, 2009 | 2 Comments »
I was looking over Stephanie’s blog and stalking her adorable knitting via etsy and I couldn’t help but notice how cute her bunny Roland was. It got me thinking back to my former pets. My parents weren’t really dog people. If we wanted to pet a puppy dog, our parents let us go over to [...]
If I went to a sperm bank for a loan, I think I would get turned away…and for good reason
Posted in I have issues..., I think I'm funny, It's all in the family, My life might be easier if I didn't let people know that I think these things, Randomness, This sh*t is bananas on April 13, 2009 | 17 Comments »
So all of this talk about Easter got me thinking of what an awesome parent I will become someday. Why? Because I am going to give it to my kids straight. I believe in exposing them to the real world at an early age. I learned this technique from my brother. When he drives past [...]
Come here boy!
Posted in I have issues..., I think I'm funny, Randomness on April 6, 2009 | 11 Comments »
I walk up the ugly carpeted stairs and into her apartment. Why does every apartment have a smelly hallway? Is there always some weird couple who likes to fry really smelly food and let it seep into the hallway? Is there a quota for weird neighbors that landlords need to fill? Someone tell me if [...]
What’s this? Oh, it’s nothing…it’s just a little gonorrhea. I picked it up over spring break. Want some?
Posted in Disinclined to be Classy, I have issues..., I think I'm funny, Inappropriate is my Middle Name, Oh Boys!, Randomness on March 30, 2009 | 23 Comments »
So, it has become very apparent to me that my stats go way down the less I talk about my vagina. Maybe it’s because you pervy kids all go home at night and look at porn and you google the word “vagina” or “fire crotch” until it leads you to my blog. Hey, I’m not [...]
It’s not easy being green
Posted in Disinclined to be Classy, I have issues..., I think I'm funny, Inappropriate is my Middle Name, Randomness, This sh*t is bananas on March 16, 2009 | 17 Comments »
I don’t know what is happening. Maybe it’s a conspiracy theory. Someone found my blog today by searching the phrase “How do I make my vagina pink again?” What the fuck, people. Do vaginas change color with age? Is this some surprise I’m gonna get when I wake up and turn forty? This is not [...]
My time could most likely be better spent studying.
Posted in I think I'm funny, Randomness on March 13, 2009 | 7 Comments »
Unfortunately, I have a severe case of ADD tonight. Today was a day of learning for me. I learned new gang signs. This is not beneficial at all, but it was quite amusing. We were surrounded by the mannequins (those skinny bitches are everywhere!) and we should have been being productive. When there is no [...]
The only thing left to complete my kitchen would be a magic bullet….and maybe a hot chef in a tiny apron.
Posted in I have issues..., I think I'm funny, It's all in the family, Randomness on March 10, 2009 | 41 Comments »
Whenever my mom asks me what I want in the way of presents, I make her a list and typically have to e-mail it to her five times before she prints it off. She is never on top of the technology game. The first list I send to her typically consists of really random items [...]
